my first and last love letter

  people at the west say, the sun is important..but I say, you are the most important in my life..

  people at the east say, the moon is wonderful..but I say, you are the one who wonderful for me..

  people at the south say, the sky bring them cheers in life, but I say you are the one who can make me smile..

  people at the north say, the sea give them peace, but I for me, only you can bring peace into my heart..

oh Rabbi, my only love..
Both of us know my journey in this world will come to an end and I know you are wondering why I am writing this letter. This could be the only way to tell my last wish for you as I could not speak to you , eye to eye, I could not talk t you face to face. Thus, I strongly believed this letter will 'say it' to you. I know you will listen, cause you had promised to always be there for me.

my Rabbi,
thanks for giving me the chance to know you, the chance to love you and the chance to be with you..
thanks for showing me the way when I am lost, thanks for being with me through storm and sunshine, even  when darks cloud rolling in, you will spare rainbow behind it..forever thanks for being with me,each hour, each minute, each second until I close my eyes..it is not only thanks that I want to give, but also my apologize..

I am sorry to make you worried about me. 'I should not tell you about my cancer'..that is what I thought.. but then you still will know everything about me. I know it is hurt to lie, and I know it is more hurting to accept a lie, because it always make the truth seem ugly. Please forgive me...and do believe me, this 'cancer' did teach me to love you more than ever..I never felt to lost hope as you are the who give me strength to face it. oh Rabbi, you are perfect lover!
Rabbi, I had accepted my destiny with a open heart, my time had come and I had to go. You are the one who know the best for me and my fate had been written. Even after I am gone, I know you will share you love to other but I will never jealous, I had more than enough love from you.

Rabbi, forgive my sins,
 I am sorry when I take for granted of your gift,
 I am sorry when I rarely do thing sincerely because of you,  
 forgive me when I forget about your beloved, forgive me.......
but one thing I know...I love you for the rest of my life and hereafter...my love, my Rabbi..

HOPE in my heart to meet you, will never fade away..and that HOPE is what I hold to love you forever